Do’s & Don’ts When Attending A Swingers Party

Well after attending my 3rd swingers party and witnessing a couple get kicked out (no joke!) I thought I would list a few dos and don’ts when attending one of these get togethers. Our group actually sends a list before attending to newbies just in case.

Firstly Don’t come in bare feet or jandals (flip flops, thongs whatever you call ’em) These are sophisticated events so rocking up in a fucking singlet, shorts and no shoes on is a big no no.

Next while we are on the clothing subject, a collared polo or dress shirt is what’s expected along with dress pants or dress jeans. For the ladies a dress or shirt and skirt is what’s required – anything else has to be approved by the hosts ahead of time.

One big Don’t is don’t get too drunk, now this happened the last time with a female guest getting really intoxicated. Now add in getting very loud it was a recipe for disaster. “Who wants to fuck me?!!!!!!” she yelled out, “When’s all the fucking going to start?” she moaned. It got to the point where she got asked to leave and then forced to leave. She was a newbie and was obviously nervous, so to come out of her shell she drunk super fast. From all accounts she should’ve stayed in her fucking shell.

Another no no is if you wanna shag someone’s date, make sure your date’s into the partner. Last time my partner was chatting up some bloke and didn’t ask me if I was keen on the woman – I wasn’t – she was as interesting as watching fucking golf on tv. Being a good wingman I still shagged her; almost hitting my ball in the rough a few times but eventually getting a hole in one.

A couple more Dos and Don’ts are –

Bring condoms, common courtesy and respect. Some couples may not mind not using them but everyone’s different

Bring alcohol. Even though the hosts put on drinks and snacks, it’s always nice to bring a bottle of wine for the hosts.

Don’t bring RTD drinks like vodka cruises, pre-mixed Jim Beam, 12-24 boxes of beer. This isn’t a fucking garage party with mates. 6-pack of beer or a bottle of wine is fine. But as stated before, the hosts have that covered.

Well that’s it for what to do at a swingers party, blog about Thai massage Parlour Happy Endings with be up next.

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Live Tweeting at a Swingers Party

Sometimes going to something the second time never lives up to what it was like the first time. But suck me sideways, this second time at a swingers party was amazeballs!
I got permission to live tweet the event as last time I shagged the hosts; I didn’t even know they were until we got invited to a private Facebook group to set this party up. The only conditions people had were no photos and no names on the tweets which was fine by me.

When we got to the party there was no sign of the dude who had the pineapple rings around his penis – which sucked as he was pretty funny. It was almost a completely different set of people apart from the hosts and one other couple. 

After chatting for a while, every second person was a business owner from around the local area obviously looking for a bit of fun away from the stresses of work.

Two pretty extroverted couples announced they are going into the bedroom and people were free to come watch. You don’t have to tell me fucking twice or my partner in crime for that fact. These couples weren’t shy either, dicks, fannies, tits and balls were on show for everybody to see. The couples started sucking their partners then changed over. The guys followed suit then oral, one of the girl’s bushes looked straight out of the 70’s, hairy as fuck. I felt sorry for the dudes that had to eat that, a little care trim goes a long way. 

The guys began shagging these two woman missionary, then swapping over, then the girls wanted a go on top. One of the woman told me to grab her tits, this is awesome I thought! Not long both guys’ corks blew and it was back to the party we went. 

We started chatting to a younger couple who seemed pretty cool, girl was blonde about 5’1′ and looked about 25. The bloke was in his early thirties from what I could tell. They were newly married but had an open relationship from the get go as they both liked sharing each other. 

They invited us to go down to a room, my date was a little reluctant because the guy thought he was hot shit, but she knew I wanted to shag his mrs so off we went. Now you know when some people like heaps of sauce of their fries/chips? Well these motherfuckers were the same when it pertained to lube. Fuck me they used what felt like half a bottle on my date and me. It was the slipperiest fuck ever, so slippery I went to do doggy style with the dude’s mrs and my dick slid right into her arse. “Ughhhhhhh” she yelped, “wrong hole! wrong hole!” 

Apart from the overuse of the lube the sex was amazing, the woman was amazing on top and even twerked – fucking awesome! We left the party not long after that still smelling like strawberry fucking lube!