Mully vs. Australian Rugby Girls

First off I have to say UP! UP! Cronulla. What an amazing game that was to see live, as the final whistle blew the excitement and noise in the stadium was off the charts! This isn’t a footy blog so that’s enough about that. This is the next instalment of Mully Dates. Unfortunately having ran out of data I couldn’t live tweet it out but not to worry I took notes.

After flying into Sydney and getting patted down by ozzy boarder security it was off to Kings Cross for a well-deserved beer. After pub hoping for a bit me and the boys spotted the perfect pub. There were about a good 30-40 girls all dressed up as maids, policewomen etc. and no guys?! WTF. I asked one of them where all the penises were. “We’re on a double hen’s night” one of them replied in a thick ozzy accent. “So why are you guys drinking at this seedy place?” I asked. With a smirk she replied “upstairs is a male strip club mate”. Well fuck me dead I had found the perfect place to pick up girls, the fucking holy-grail!! The girls went up to the strippers, got themselves all bloody hot and heavy and ol’ mully waited downstairs to swoop in! Well the first horde of girls went up and half an hour later came down but scurried off into the night “fuck sake!” I thought. I asked the bartender if there was another show later on. Luckily another show was scheduled in an hours’ time.

After a few more beers the next horde of ladies came into the bar, these ones were noticeably fit with muscly legs bulging out. “Fuck it’s a bunch of cross fit muppets’’ I thought. But after chatting to them they revealed that they played rugby league, nice! All these beers had me in dire need to drain my vain, so I headed into the toilet but, just like a fucking league game, I got intercepted by two of the big beefy girls. They shoved me into the ladies toilet and began giving me the best bj I have ever bloody had, they sucked my balls better than any fucking vacuum cleaner ever has! Wanting to obviously get their end away after the strip show the big girls grabbed me and basically tackled me into a taxi “We’re going back to our room big boy” the biggest one scoffed. Once we got back to their room, they threw me onto the bed and begun getting unchanged. What happened next was a fucked up mixture between sex and a game of footy. They grabbed my willy as if it was a fucking gear shift, shoving it between their legs, once one thought the other girl had had enough of a turn on it she shoved her off and sat on it. This carried on for a good 40 minutes until I was drenched in ozzy girl slime. I bid them a good night saying I had to get back to my mates but these fuckers wouldn’t let me leave, tackling me back onto the saturated bed for round two! I eventually got away and back to where I was staying thankfully with only minimum bruising. Those ozzy girls like sex like they love their footy; sweaty and rough as fuck!

 

Why I Bleed Blue

Yes, before you ask I am a Kiwi. A.k.a a sheep shagger, a dole bludger, a hobbit or whatever else we are called over the ditch, but I bleed blue. Ever since I was eight years old I have been a huge supporter of the blues; which I guess is weird for a kiwi boy that should only know who the bloody all blacks are. Which for me was true until I met a boy named Steven.

It was the first day at school for the year. It was roll call time, when my name got called “Mulligan” some kids laughed, and then later the teasing started. The main culprit was a boy named Steven who was doing most of the teasing. Steve was the typical looking bully; a big fat kid that enjoyed picking on other kids just because he could. He began to tease me again at lunchtime but by this stage I had had enough. I really let him have it, blooding his nose up pretty good. We were taken to the principal’s office, but we didn’t really get into any trouble as neither of us dobbed on each other.

Steve and I quickly made up and soon became friends. We ended up playing rugby together, he would always ask if I liked the Blues to which I would say “the Auckland Blues?” he would shake his head in disgust, “Oh god no, state of origin! New South Wales mate, ask your mum if you can stay at mine tonight game one is on” Steven said with a smile. It was 1995 and I remember watching in amazement as these two rugged teams unapologetically batted and bruised each other, this was awesome! This was my first glimpse’s of Andrew Johns and Geoff Tovey – who’s half combination that night was amazing, I was hooked! that year the Blues won the series 3-0 and had gained a new fan in the process.

Later that year Steven sadly died in a tragic accident when his mother ran him over while he was on his bike, obviously not seeing him. I ended up being one of his pallbearers at his funeral, as his casket was being lowered I remember making a promise to Steven that I would never miss an Origin match ever again. To this day I have never broken that promise. I will be going out to the local pub tonight to watch game 2, as I do every year. I keep an empty seat next to me for Steven and together we watch the mighty Blues go to work. I bleed Blue.

Nrl Nines Blog

The Auckland NRL Nines are nearly here! I have had my tickets sorted for weeks. I went last year and before the first game had finished I knew without a doubt I would be coming back each year. I used to go to the Sevens but got sick of not knowing any of the players, and also the number of people that just went there to get completely drunk and cause trouble. I found at the Nines since there are league superstars in each team the crowd has more interest as to what’s going on on the field. That’s not to say its not an awesome party type atmosphere but to me it just felt more behaved.

A car load of me and my mates went up last year from Hamilton and had a great time! One thing I regret though is not getting dressed up in costumes as there were hundreds of good looking girls everywhere, and they all were asking for photos with all the guys dressed up – dammit! After day one had finished buses and buses full of party goers headed for town which was awesome because a lot of us stuck together which made it an awesome night. I met one chick that was a Roosters supporter who I gave shit to most of the night as I’m a Rabbitohs man through and through. She gave great banter back and we ended up going home together, its safe to say i made her sing glory glory to South Sydney that night!

The last day of the Nines was even better than the first, although having a huge hangover didn’t help. It still didn’t stop me enjoying what was happening on the field. The semi finals were intense and the final was fantastic. Hopefully this year the final will pit the Rabbitohs and Warriors in the final, now that would be one awesome game! The countdown is on and come Saturday the 31st of January you can bet the NRL Nines is going to be one event you can’t miss!mates