The Girls Of Tinder 

Well while I’m sitting here listening to a great song called ‘Swipe Her’ – by yours truly. I’m swiping through tinder and noticing more and more different types of girls that can be rounded up into different categories. So if you’re a noob to Tinder or just wanna get the 4-1-1 on what to expect, have a read of this blog that I just wrote called ‘The Girls Of Tinder’.
Now, the first type of girl and normally my favourite is Fun Girl. Fun Girl will make it crystal clear that she is here for a good time not a long time. She will either drop some big hints like; ‘Wanna hang tonight?’ (aka Netflix and chill aka hide the sausage). Either that or she will actually write “here for a good time not a long time” on her profile! Super like her if thats what you’re wanting.

Next girl is Bong Girl. Bong Girl is looking for weed, obviously, now she may say she is looking for someone to smoke her weed with but what she is really saying is “Hey, I don’t have any weed but i’ll come meet you and smoke all of yours and grace you with my company.”

Next is Fuck Knows What I Want Girl. Now Fuck Knows What I Want Girl doesn’t fucking know what she wants and she will MESSAGE YOU ALL FUCKING NIGHT and you still won’t know what she fucking wants. If it says this on her profile SWIPE LEFT unless you wanna talk about how her day is, how the fucking weather is, what she had for tea, how she wipes her bum. Swipe left please. 

Looking For Friends Girl is next…….. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING FOR FRIENDS ON TINDER! Swipe Left for fuck sakes.

Dinner Girl is next, she may disguise herself as fun girl but she’s not! I had a Dinner Girl last week: brought her the first drink thinking I was hanging with Fun Girl then fucking Boom!! Fun Girl asks if we should get a menu, my Tinder senses started tingling and fucking Bam! She orders food and ol mully has to pay as she has no money. DINNER GIRL. 

Lastly is Relationship Girl, like a Dinner Girl but one big difference… she offers to split the bill if you go out on a date. Obviously you’re going to pick up the bill on the first date but just her offering changes her from Dinner Girl to Relationship Girl. Also Relationship Girl goes home on first date if she doesn’t, mate you gotta Fun Girl! 

Well thats it, of course there are more types like Sally Barry Girl when the girl is actually a fucking dude but hey lets hope you don’t come across one of them!

Ways to talk to girls

Well its Friday evening here in New Zealand and before I pick up a beer and pretend to care what my mates are talking about,  I thought I would share a few techniques on how I have gone about picking up a girl. I have compiled a list of some ideas that I have put into play that have actually worked for me and hey, if they work for you guys great! I guess if any girls are reading this, this could be a list of what to look out for when a seedy guy with tattoo’s approaches you ;P

  • If the clubs really loud and you’re only looking for a hook up try a fake accent.

Wear something from the country whose accent you’re trying to pull off or if you’re lucky like me point to a tattoo of an Irish shamrock, and say you’re from Ireland!                                                   

  • Pretend you’re a fireman.

Going out in a volunteer fireman’s shirt helps. Girls LOVE a guy in uniform.

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  • Make Tattoo Business cards.                                                                                                                                      

Make sure it’s in another region of New Zealand or where ever you are from. Hand them out to girls in the club; make sure it has your number on it. This is probably one of the best ways to get talking to a girl in a bar or a club – as long as you can spin a good story.

  • Shout a group of girls drinks all night.

I really don’t recommend this at all unless its $2 shots night then and only then splash out.59295_4701364103950_398422477_n

  • Go on a club tour in the city you are in.

Auckland has a fantastic one called ‘The Big Night Out’.  It’s targeted at tourists but anyone can go. For $25 they take you to all the best clubs as a group stopping at each one for a shot or a drink.

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So there are a few things I have done or gone too that helped me mingle with girls. Truthfully just being confident and honest is the best bet for anyone. Unless you want to get a credit card and just buy them shit because we all know a way to a girls heart is a long road filled with jewellery!