My Gypsy Valentines Date Recap

If someone had told me before I started live tweeting my dates that I would end up going on a date with a gypsy, I would have shook my head and said bullshit. Now before you go shaking your fists at me and saying “there is nothing wrong with gypsies” I had a preconceived idea what a gypsy was from watching reality tv and films. But these New Zealand gypsies are cool fun loving people. We have the annual gypsy fair roll into town once every year, I hadn’t been since I was young so I decided to go. I went with my mates on Saturday as I wanted a new necklace. After browsing a few stands I spotted a fairly attractive women doing face painting outside of one of the wagons. After surveilling where she was working for 5 or so minutes I noticed she had no wedding ring and only two older people in the wagon which I presumed were her parents. After working up enough courage I approached her and asked if I could get my face painted, she looked up at me with a really welcoming smile on her face “what did you want me to paint” she said laughing. “How about your cell phone number” I said laughing, hoping that if she had a boyfriend or wasn’t keen I could point at my mates and say they dared me too. “Oh you are so sweet, how about I just give to to you” she said. Boom! That’s how you do it and now that I had her number it was time to set up a date.

We texted each other for the rest of Saturday, and before long I asked her if she would like to go out for a bite to eat on Valentines. She said she will asked her parents as when it’s the weekend she needs to make as much money as possible to sustain them for the next week. Fast forward to lunch time Sunday and I got the confirmation that she will be able to come for dinner, yay now let’s begin the #ValentinesDayDate recap.

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After a few drinks at my flat I got my flatmate to drop me off at a bar in Tauranga, not wanting to get out I waited in the car until she texted and said she was there. The first thing I noticed when I greeted her with a hug was holy shit she has just taken a fucking bath in incense sticks Jesus Christ it was some strong smelling shit.

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She seemed like a really down to earth out going girl to begin with and then this happened.

 

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As I was rambling on about my tattoo’s she holds my arm looking at them and then sees something she doesn’t like (the scab) and just picks the fucking thing off. “Ewww yuck” I say laughing in shock, “yeah it was bugging me” she says smiling thinking sweet fuck all about it. Bugging her?! Who the fuck picks someone else’s scab off them on their first bloody date. Just as my scab started weeping dinner arrived and made me forget about the whole thing, I later found out she loved picking scabs. Weird. Dinner was nice we enjoyed a few more drinks until I decided to see if she wanted desert – and that’s when she said this that made me go as hard as a fucking rock…..

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My dick began to grow and grow, “Oh I will call a taxi then” I said trying to play it off as casual as possible. “Hurry up” she whispered “I wanna fuck your brains out”. I have never wanted a fucking taxi to pick me up as fast as I did right then!

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When we got to my house I went for a pee, I thought that I would have to put a movie on before we would get into playing hide the sausage but oh how wrong I was. As I approached the bed she undid my jeans and proceeded to give me the most amazing blow job, so good in fact I had to stop her at one point as I thought I was going to explode. She then told me to get naked and lay on my back and for the next half an hour she rode me like a fucking horse, it was amazing. She was amazing.

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Afterwards she broke the news to me that she would be leaving tomorrow so she wouldn’t be in Tauranga for at least 8 months to a year. That made me sad, this chick was awesome and she knew what she liked and she gave one helluva blowjob! And I’m not even much of a blow job fan (see this blog and it explains why https://tattooedmulligan.com/2014/10/01/why-i-hate-bow-jobs/). In the morning we had one last shag and I bid her farewell….or so I thought.

Later on Monday she texted me and said she had some good news; the gypsy congregation weren’t leaving until Tuesday now!! She told me to clear my schedule because she was going to cum, I bloody hope so! She brought a candle over and poured the hot wax on me, which kinda fucking hurt but at the same time turned me on so much. She then made me pour it on her…bad idea. She had a wee bit of fluff down there and instead of pouring it on her stomach I accidently poured it on the top of her vagina “ahhhhhhhhhhh” she screamed, that was the end of the candle foreplay. Apart from that the sex again was amazing, she really knew what she was doing on top. So that sums up my Gyspy Valentines Date, its safe to say I had a bloody great Valentines.

 

Testing the Faith Date Blog Recap

 

Another week, another date. Now before I start this recap I thought I better say that I don’t give much of a toss what people believe in, that’s their business and if you don’t force it on me I’m not one to care or judge. Though when I get woken up almost every second weekend to a bunch of door knockers whom are convinced I need saving from fucking Jehovah I soon begin to form opinions on these people. Anyway happily painting away this past week (not sure if I have mentioned that’s what I do for a job, house painter Mulligan, yup). I bumped into my mate at the local paint shop, he works for another painting outfit. He knows of my dates I go on and suggests going on a blind date with his new worker. I was so keen, almost jumping out of my skin thinking that I don’t have to stoop to finding one off tinder. I asked him about her, but he was acting really coy as he said “It’s going to be a blind date bro, it be good for your tweet thingy”. I needed to know something though as he wouldn’t even give me her number telling me he would tell her where to meet me. Finally as he was jumping in his van he said “ok ok ok I will tell you one thing about her; she’s a Jehovah Witness” and with a chuckle he drove off, well this was going to be an interesting date. The few following days leading up to the date I was actually pretty nervous not knowing what to expect or say. Time seems to go fast as before I knew it, it was the day of the date. Fuck I thought – I better have a few beers.

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It was so hot on Saturday here in Tauranga at 28 degrees, which made the beers go down even better then usual. So after a few in the pool it was off to meet my blind date.

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As I get there I spot her sitting at the back left table, where my mate had organised her to sit. As I walk over she peers up from her phone and I could see her looking me up and down with her eyes which felt like more than what one of my other dates would usually do. “Hi you must be Mandy, I’m Sean” I say smiling “Hi” is all she says in return in a cold unfriendly voice. I attempt to start the usual chit chat but instead of getting answers and receiving questions she just gives one word answers, what a rude bitch. That’s when I thought fuck it I’m going to ask about her Jehovah Witness faith because hey she doesn’t want to ask me anything about myself.

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Ask I begin to ask her about her Jehovah-ness I could tell she had already made her mind up that she didn’t want to be here, but to her credit she did answer most things I put to her. I almost felt bad for her when she said she didn’t even know her date of birth, but when she dissed my tattoos practically calling them disgraceful well any shit I gave went out the bloody window. It was time to get another drink and piss this tart off.

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I hadn’t really got a clue as to what would be too far with her, then I thought fuck I could say anything and she would be offended. What I tweeted next wouldn’t even make my mum raise an eyebrow but when I said it to Mandy, well she fucking stormed out disgusted in what she had just heard leaving me to fork out for the bill.

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Well the date was over but the night was young and I was tipsy, so off to the pub I went. Now usually the pub is going off but it was as dead as the fucking chemistry between me and my date. Not letting the mundane atmosphere get in the way I began to drink and drink and drink until I began singing karaoke. I thought I was the next Sam Smith busting out some huge ballads which looking back at it now, I feel sorry for the bar staff. After a couple of hours this bar was still only under a quarter full so I thought bugger it I’m going to see if my stripper friend was at work. Yup she was, and she was so happy to see me giving me a topless hug. In fact she was so happy to see me she finished early! Well I don’t really need to say what happened for the rest of my night apart from hide the sausage became a reality – wahoo!!

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