No Luck Mulligan

Before I start the blog, three things I learnt this past weekend are:

  • Ponsonby girls think their shit don’t stink
  • Don’t mix drinks. Just don’t.
  • Flush the fucking toilet if you’re going to pass out on it.

Anyway, this past weekend I headed up to Auckland for the NRL Nines. An awesome two-day tournament that is held annually which kicks off the footy season for the year. As I woke up on Saturday morning I felt this rush of excitement come over me realizing it was time for a road trip. My mates turned up around 8am with boxes of beer on the ute, “It’s beer O’clock mully” one shouted smiling handing me a beer. By the time we got up to Auckland me and the boys were already feeling pretty merry. As we head to find our seats I see a number of people dressed up in some pretty cool costumes like The T Birds off Grease, Hulk Hogan, Power Rangers and my favorite – the hot nurses. Unfortunately, I didn’t end up dressing up because the lot I was with didn’t want to which pissed me off, looking back now I should have just dressed up anyway. After my second round of 4 beers for myself I decided to go for a wonder, I ended up at the merchandise tent being served by this banging Australian chick. She was really nice and in my drunken state I could have bloody sworn she was flirting with me. While the eftpos machine was processing my payment for $120 worth of merchandise I asked for her number. Thinking about this now makes me fucking cringe as it must have been so awkward for this sober chick just trying to do her job. Looking up at me from the eftpos machine she says loudly “sorry I have a boyfriend”. Everyone around me looks at me as I grab my gears and sadly walk back to my seat embarrassed as hell.

Not letting this deter me I began sniffing around the stadium like a dog on heat with not much luck. At one point I started chatting to a girl who decided to tell me after I had brought her a beer that she had a bloody boyfriend who was finishing work to meet her there, fuck! Tinder time! As you can see by this tweet I did https://twitter.com/mullied/status/695808476920963072  I was on a massive swipe right/saying yes to anything in a bloody 5km radius, boom! Congratulations you have a match was the last thing I saw on my phone until it decides to go fucking flat, arhhhhhhhhh!!!

After the last game finished we ubered it back to our motel, stopping on the way to get some tequila and two dozen bourbon and cola RTD’s. We smashed them back in time to order another uber taxi into the Ponsonby clubs. Now if you haven’t been to Ponsonby clubs and think hey I might go there, FUCKING DON’T and here’s a Mulligan rant as to why. To get into this wank club called the Long room we waited half an hour in line only to be told by this complete yogi bear looking bastard that we need to make more of an effort dressing up next time but he would do us a favor and let us in this once, gee thanks! We go inside and this place is packed. I immediately make a bee line for the dance floor and begin doing my Mulligan shuffle. I look around and nobody seems interested, I start looking at the girls closer and a lot of them look like snobby bitches dancing in circles with their groups. Not being one to give up I try and dance into the groups only to be told to “get lost” what the fuck Ponsonby! Feeling sad I order some shots that cost way more than they should have. I eventually did find a 40 something year old to dance with that had a massive arse but just as things started getting physical, (I got told by my mates the next morning that I was dry humping this lady) I get grabbed by the arm by Yogi Bears fucking side kick Boo Boo telling me I was being too offensive and to please leave as I was too intoxicated. FUCK YOU PONSONBY!

I passed out at around 3.30 am after finishing our mini bar off which included wine, beers, and little beer fridge spirits. The next thing I remember is running to the toilet throwing up. It must have still been dark because my mate found me passed out lying by the toilet at 7. Spew and one of the bros poos still in the toilet. He wakes me up but not before taking a photo of the whole incident and sharing it on my Facebook. Well that was the weekend, no luck on the girl front but hey the footy was bloody excellent.12421459_10207554580854513_1356785412_n12714148_10207554581174521_1447356815_n

 

Nrl Nines Blog

The Auckland NRL Nines are nearly here! I have had my tickets sorted for weeks. I went last year and before the first game had finished I knew without a doubt I would be coming back each year. I used to go to the Sevens but got sick of not knowing any of the players, and also the number of people that just went there to get completely drunk and cause trouble. I found at the Nines since there are league superstars in each team the crowd has more interest as to what’s going on on the field. That’s not to say its not an awesome party type atmosphere but to me it just felt more behaved.

A car load of me and my mates went up last year from Hamilton and had a great time! One thing I regret though is not getting dressed up in costumes as there were hundreds of good looking girls everywhere, and they all were asking for photos with all the guys dressed up – dammit! After day one had finished buses and buses full of party goers headed for town which was awesome because a lot of us stuck together which made it an awesome night. I met one chick that was a Roosters supporter who I gave shit to most of the night as I’m a Rabbitohs man through and through. She gave great banter back and we ended up going home together, its safe to say i made her sing glory glory to South Sydney that night!

The last day of the Nines was even better than the first, although having a huge hangover didn’t help. It still didn’t stop me enjoying what was happening on the field. The semi finals were intense and the final was fantastic. Hopefully this year the final will pit the Rabbitohs and Warriors in the final, now that would be one awesome game! The countdown is on and come Saturday the 31st of January you can bet the NRL Nines is going to be one event you can’t miss!mates

FIGHT FOR LIFE BLOG

TONIGHTS THE NIGHT!!! Its the Fight For Life Boxing event live on Sky PPV, and for the first time ever its being held in my old shagging ground Hamilton!

I have been to Fight for Life a couple of years ago when they held it in Auckland and it was awesome. If you don’t know these Fight for Life boxing events are done to raise money for charity. This year i believe its the Hospice Waikato charity.

Last time I went Christian Cullen fought my favourite league player ever – Issac Luke. There was a van load of us boys from our local rugby team that headed up. The event was awesome, top to bottom the card was stacked with awesome fights. My favourite fight of the night though had to be the womens fight between Hayley Holt and Paige Hareb. These girls slugged it out and gave it their all and the crowd went nuts! Tonights fight between Millie Elder-Holmes and Frankie Adams is going to be awesome.

After the event all us boys went to town to go clubbing. We were all pretty liquored so I decided to get the boys to give me a black eye which they reluctantly agreed too. About four of them lined up and swung away at my face. Three of them connected sweetly but the fourth guy was wasted and whacked me square in the nose. Blood started seeping out everywhere, SHIT!! I was so pissed off but I couldn’t really blame my mate though it was my own stupid idea after all. So there I was in town black eye and all. Suddenly all these girls kept coming up to me and asking if I was alright. My response was “yeah i’m fine, i’ve just been in a boxing fight earlier on”. The girls bloody loved it, was a great talking point and to be honest, it got me pretty lucky 😉

Anyway! Fight For Life is on tonight, book it on Sky PPV or come to Hamilton to watch it live. You definitely won’t be disappointed! Just if you go out in Hamilton afterwards and decide to go home with someone, wear protection. They don’t call Hamilton the chlamydia capital of New Zealand for fun! IMG_0028.JPG

How Wrestling And The Young Bucks Saved My life

It was half way through 2012 and I had just broken up with my girlfriend.  She had thrown all my stuff onto the front lawn because she had snooped onto my Facebook and seen I had been talking to a a girl – even though the girl I was talking to was my cousin in regards to my grandma’s funeral.  I tried to explain it to her, but did she believe me though? No. Her mum rang me while I was out fishing saying “um you better come home, Jess is throwing all ya gear out on the grass”. Not my playboy magazines I thought!

Everything started falling apart for me around this time. My Grandma who I was extremely close to passed, my girlfriend broke up with me and then I had transferred rugby league clubs. I struggled to fit in at the new club. These things happened all at the same time give or take a week or two. I started to get depressed badly, I could hardly eat, I wasn’t looking forward to anything and I was now living on my own so I became I recluse for a while.

Waking up in the morning I felt like just hiding in bed, not wanting to face anyone. I lost interest in all things I enjoyed like chasing woman and going to the gym. Nothing seemed to be able to fix me. That was until a package came in the mail I had ordered from the USA a month back. It was a whole bunch of wrestling dvd’s I had ordered off a website. I’ve been a big time wrestling fan since I was young.  I got the package, normally I would tear it open and begin watching but being in the state I was in I just didn’t feel like it.

Eventually I decided to open the package; I had brought a new dvd from a company I had not heard of. The Company was called Pro Wrestling Guerrilla and the event I had brought was called Threemendous 3. I began to watch it and every match I watched just kept getting better and the more entertained I was. I started to forget about my worries and was fully immersed into what I was watching.

Then came the main event it was a tag team ladder match. One of the teams in this was called the Young Bucks, Nick and Matt Jackson. They were these two cocky brothers in their mid-twenties. They were so charismatic and sure of themselves; I immediately started rooting for them to win. They reminded me a lot of myself before all this stuff had started happening to me. The ladder match was awesome; it was probably my all-time favourite match with so many amazing and unbelievable moments throughout. One being when Nick jumped off the ladder bounced off the top rope, flipped and landed on his opponent on the floor.  At the end of the dvd I had stopped worrying so much about my problems and wanted more of what I had seen!

I finally got through my depression thanks to wrestling and the Young Bucks, I began to make good mates in my new rugby team and soon began to get back on the dating scene again, everything was perfect!