I Have A Girlfriend… Had

3 days have passed and I’m still feeling sick to my stomach. No it wasn’t the result of drugs, pills or dodgy sex; I got dumped. Yes I had a girlfriend for three whole weeks, the longest relationship I’ve been in for a long, long time.

It all began when I met this girl over in Scotland back in August. We had kept in contact ever since with her eventually flying to New Zealand to be with me. For the first week or so everything was amazing, the sex? AMAZING, everything you could dream of, blowjobs, toys, biting and even the odd finger up the bum. The second week, well fuck me, if you have ever thought someone has a different personality when they drink, think that but times a hundred.

The first night of meeting Jen’s drunk personality happened at the local fishing club. Every second week me and the boys go to the local fishing club for a catch-up and to participate in quiz night. Jen got shit-faced quickly and began loudly asking to suck my penis in front of all the other teams. My mates were looking at me wondering who the fuck was this girl I had invited?

She then attempted to take my penis out of my pants and suck it in front of the place. Now, take into account there were families there, this was fucked. I put this night down to her being nervous but two nights later shit was inexcusable – although surely just this would’ve been to most people.

So the dreadful night was finally here, my mates were having a party at their house, what a perfect time for them to meet my new girlfriend Jen I thought. We go to their place and everyone was having a good time, drinking beers, listening to music and dancing.

We all then decided to head to town, at this point I noticed Jen’s drunken alter ego was coming out as she let me finger bang her in the taxi on the way to town, something her sober self would detest. We went to the local bar club called The Mellick, the live band was pumping. Jen was being social, talking to a couple while the rest of us were enjoying the band. I went to get us a drink and turned around just in time to see Jen leaving with the couple! “Where you going babe?” I said, thinking maybe she’s just going outside for a ciggie. “Going back to their place for a threesome” she said bluntly. Ya fucking what?! Before I could stop her, she was in the taxi and on her way home with them.

That night for me was the lowest of lows, wasn’t I good enough? Is she actually having a threesome? What the fuck just happened? Am I dreaming? Well most of those questions got answered in the morning when she finally answered her phone “oh my god Sean, I am so

sorry” she messaged.

She went on to admit she had slept with the couple and tried to make me believe she regretted it.

Well suffice to say we broke up after that night and she was on her way back to where she came from. That’s me done with relationships for the foreseeable future, that really gave me self doubt about myself and make me question a lot of things. Time to get back to tinder, shagging and making music, bring on the summer!

Live Tweeting at a Swingers Party

Sometimes going to something the second time never lives up to what it was like the first time. But suck me sideways, this second time at a swingers party was amazeballs!
I got permission to live tweet the event as last time I shagged the hosts; I didn’t even know they were until we got invited to a private Facebook group to set this party up. The only conditions people had were no photos and no names on the tweets which was fine by me.

When we got to the party there was no sign of the dude who had the pineapple rings around his penis – which sucked as he was pretty funny. It was almost a completely different set of people apart from the hosts and one other couple. 

After chatting for a while, every second person was a business owner from around the local area obviously looking for a bit of fun away from the stresses of work.

Two pretty extroverted couples announced they are going into the bedroom and people were free to come watch. You don’t have to tell me fucking twice or my partner in crime for that fact. These couples weren’t shy either, dicks, fannies, tits and balls were on show for everybody to see. The couples started sucking their partners then changed over. The guys followed suit then oral, one of the girl’s bushes looked straight out of the 70’s, hairy as fuck. I felt sorry for the dudes that had to eat that, a little care trim goes a long way. 

The guys began shagging these two woman missionary, then swapping over, then the girls wanted a go on top. One of the woman told me to grab her tits, this is awesome I thought! Not long both guys’ corks blew and it was back to the party we went. 

We started chatting to a younger couple who seemed pretty cool, girl was blonde about 5’1′ and looked about 25. The bloke was in his early thirties from what I could tell. They were newly married but had an open relationship from the get go as they both liked sharing each other. 

They invited us to go down to a room, my date was a little reluctant because the guy thought he was hot shit, but she knew I wanted to shag his mrs so off we went. Now you know when some people like heaps of sauce of their fries/chips? Well these motherfuckers were the same when it pertained to lube. Fuck me they used what felt like half a bottle on my date and me. It was the slipperiest fuck ever, so slippery I went to do doggy style with the dude’s mrs and my dick slid right into her arse. “Ughhhhhhh” she yelped, “wrong hole! wrong hole!” 

Apart from the overuse of the lube the sex was amazing, the woman was amazing on top and even twerked – fucking awesome! We left the party not long after that still smelling like strawberry fucking lube!

Liverpool Kiss

Well my trip to the UK and Ireland is over! Unfortunately my mobile provider’s data roaming service costs a bloody arm and a leg so there were no live date tweets. But not to worry, I have a whole arsenal of stories to unleash on you in the coming weeks! The first one is called the Liverpool Kiss and without further ado, let’s get into it.
 
After driving from London to Liverpool our tour group checked into the motel and began drinking. We got taken to the Cavern Club which is a huge bar underground where The Beatles used to play. Most of us felt out of our element there as even though the live music was great, if you looked around the dance floor it looked like we had gate-crashed a fucking 70th birthday party with old fuckers jiggling their loose skin all around us. 
 
After rounding up the troops we headed off in search of a club, we got conned into one club in the promise of a free shot which turned out to be some shitty lolly water. Now to say we got drunk would be an understatement, we got fucked up beyond fucked up. Shot after shot, drink after drink, so much liquid I started growing fucking fins. 
21439489_10212550192461681_400723547_o
I went outside to get some air as it was hot as a hooker’s undies in there. I started having a conversation with an older women who was part of a hens night. I was giving her heaps about her Liverpool accent which was hard to understand. Her banter was good and she loved my accent, now usually this would end in me inviting her back to my place right?
 
Yes right but this is England not New Zealand, she then tells me “you should meet my daughter” and proceeds to pull her 18 year-old daughter out of the night club to meet me. She is smoking hot and we hit it off too. We go back in the club and I dirty dance with both the mum and daughter, a Liverpool club sandwich, they both even kiss me on the cheek. 
 
Come 3am my tour group started telling me they were going to head back, her mum overheard and urged her daughter to go back with me!! “Go on, have a good time, he’s a handsome guy” she told her daughter. Well fuck me, I wasn’t complaining, I was in a wee bit of shock to be honest in my drunken state, this would never happen back home I thought.
 
We went back to mine where I had somehow scored my own room that night and I gave her the best two minutes of her bloody life. Whipping all my best moves out, missionary followed by missionary topped off with a sprinkle of missionary. After that it’s probably safe to say she would’ve blamed her mum for convincing her to go back to a bloody disappointment haha.
 
Next up Scotland! 

Surgeon Date Recap

So these last two weeks have been pretty bloody tough to be honest, my nephew is basically in hospital permanently now which sucks. He is up in Auckland at a hospital called Starship, which is about 3 and a half hours from where I live.Luckily my boss is pretty chill and lets me drive up whenever I ask. 

I met a surgeon up there you in the cafeteria, we got talking and I let her know why I was there and that I was from Tauranga. She mentioned her parents live in Tauranga in a suburb called Matua and that she would be coming down for the weekend. I asked her if she wasn’t too busy if she would like to get a drink when she’s down; she smiles and says of course, yeahhaa boy!

We start texting and Snapchatting for a few days leading up to our Friday date with her even sending a naked snap which was bloody lush. On the Thursday night after she sent the nudie snap we got talking about sex and she asked if I had any fetishes. I must’ve sounded fucking boring as I couldn’t think of any. I asked her if she had any, her reply was weird and not very forthcoming. “I do but most people find it really weird so I don’t tell them until they know me well” she said.

Well fuck me, it could be anything a lot of weird shit started going through my mind. What if it’s poo porn? What if it’s humping a pillow porn, foot porn, shoving things up guy’s arses? – oh God not again.

After pressing her for a bit she wouldn’t reveal what her fetish was so come Friday I was slighty nervous and so was my bung hole. The chemistry was instantly noticeable when we started drinking, me pretending to be dumber than I am, asking stupid questions about surgeries etc. I again asked her what her fetish was but she wouldn’t tell me. After half a dozen shots of tequlia she opened up “I like to masturbate over those Dr Pipple popping videos, please don’t laugh” um what the fuck? Even in my drunken state I knew that was fucked up and all I could say to pretend it wasn’t too fucked was “oh well at least you’re not into poo porn”. I changed the subject pretty swiftly after that revelation.

Come midnight we taxied back to mine and, me being the gentleman and trying to support her fucked-up fetish, I asked her if she wanted to watch one. “Omg yes please if you don’t mind, there is a new one out I haven’t seen where she bursts a massive cyst.” I put the Youtube clip on the TV and she immediately starts fucking me, first with me on top, but she can’t get a good view of the TV. So she jumps on top and reverse cowgirls it. Now picture this fucked up situation; On the TV is a massive fucking cyst on some unwashed fucker’s back getting popped and then look at us, this chick is jumping up and down on my doodle organsming over this filthy shit. No amount of hotness would make me want to do this again but hey she fucking loved it.

After we finished I immediately turn the TV off as she gushed “that was the best sex ever”. All I could say was “that’s nice” because quite frankly that was one of the weirdest bloody things I have ever been a part of! 

Shite on the dance floor

Girls don’t like it if ya leave them in the club for long periods of time nor do they like it if ya fart during sex. Well this past weekend both of those things happened last night
I had been messaging this girl for a couple of days off of this new dating app called Bumble (surely whoever made that app could’ve named it something fucking better them bloody Bumble) when I thought fuck I’m getting bored with all this chitchat bullshit, I’ll just ask her out. She said yes, I got her address and promised to pick her up at 10pm that night. Around this time my stomach began playing up, feeling really tight, but thinking it was just indigestion, I thought nothing of it. 

I took her to the rugby flat where several dozen people had congregated earlier to watch the Maori All Blacks play the British & Irish Lions. We started pre-loading before going to town, doing shots of homemade spirits to doing funnels of beer, shit was getting hectic. We all decided it was time to go when my mate Bazza decide to tackle the wall; the wall lost. 

When we got to town the majority of us got declined entry at most places but luckily my mate knew the bouncers on the Bahama Hut nightclub door so in we went. We started dancing or attempting to, the place was packed, my stomach began playing up again. I thought I would let it out with a hard satisfying fart…. 

 

Arhhhhh Sqeeze Arhhhhh

 

PLOOP…. OMG 

 

FUCK

 

I’ve shit myself.

 

I bolt to the bathroom, pushing past people feeling the runny shit dribbling down my inner of my pants. I get to the toilet, pull my pants down and it looks like a fucking bomb had gone off in there. Still pretty drunk and not wanting to cut the night short I grab my soiled undies and take them with me back to the nightclub. Just before I spot my date I drop them on the dance floor and shuffle over to her. “Where have you been!” she wails. “Taking care of some business in the loo” I yell to her over the loud music, “I thought you left me!” she said.

Now back to the soiled undies as we continued to dance I saw these shitty things get kicked to all corners of the fucking club. It was like a beachball at a concert only shittier. Whoever the poor cunt was at the end of the night that had to do clean up I’m sorry.  

I took the girl back to mine with my stomach feeling better after emptying it at the club. We start having sex which by all accounts was great and then it hit me halfway through, I need to fart but I don’t know if a fart is all that will happen. I try holding it which made it worst and eventually it falls out. BURRRRRRRRTTT luckily it was just a fart but it was a loud bastard. “Ewwww get off, you’re disgusting” my date said, getting up and dressed “ring me a taxi”.

All I could think when she left was, I’m glad she didn’t see the shit that happened at the bloody club if she thought a fucking fart was disgusting! 

What Annoys Me About Tinder Girls

Lately I have been getting sick as fuck of tinder, every second profile I come across is either a fake profile or just too bloody terrible to look at. Recently I have been jotting down notes of what has been really bugging me and I thought these need to be shared. Please realise these are notes put together so they don’t have any point to them, they just random rants. Every fucking second fucking profile is from the USA for FUCK SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!! guna feel sorry for someone that is legit from the US but every time I swipe on one of these profiles they ask me to go to something along the lines of fuckme.com or some other bullshit fake as fuck site, arghhhhhhhh. 

If your tinder profile is just photos of bloody scenery don’t moan because people don’t swipe right! I don’t want to fuck a mountain, I want titties the size of mountains. Yes that’s a lovely fucking river but fuck sakes SHOW ME YOU! 

If your tinder profile is a fucking essay of what you want in a guy, don’t moan because people don’t swipe right example fucking one 

I have this personal trait where I care too much about others and go out of my way to make sure they’re happy, and forget about my own happiness. So I’ve decided I’m going to be a bit selfish for once in my life and look after myself and my happiness. I am relocating to Taupo as step one in my own happiness. Step two is hopefully meeting someone amazing down here. I have a university degree, full time job and two vehicles (whoop whoop) – so I like to think I have my head screwed on and am going places. My biggest passion is traveling the world and especially remote places of NZ, which is partly where my biggest hobby comes in. This hobby, my family and friends are the most important things in my life and would hope that one day soon I can find someone to share all these things with. I’m no model, have never claimed to be, and whilst I may not look like I did when I was 17, I’m still the exact same funny, kind hearted, somewhat sassy person I’ve always been. I’m not afraid to speak my mind or have an opinion about something, so you can guarantee I’ll always be straight with you. All I expect is the same in return! Easy huh!”

No one cares that you have two fucking cars, no one cares about any of this shit! That’s what meeting up and actually talking to someone is all about. 4 emojis in your profile would be better and hey put two fucking car emoji’s if you’re think it’s important, f sakes.

You like animals? Cool, great, amazing, praise the fucking lord. Photos of you and your animals in every photo is annoying but no photos of you and just of your fucking cat?! This isn’t a bestiality site, I’m not trying to shag ya fucking cat. SHOW ME YOU!

Close up selfies for all your photos?! fuck right off! I want to see all of you in at least one photo. Not just ya bloody face, fuck… chances are it’s for a reason and not just cause you like the look of you own face #CoughCatfishCough

Here for the LOLS you say? Then why the fuck are you asking me around for a drink? The real laugh out louds will happen when I don’t pull out … BOOM!! 

Snap Chat bloody filters!!!! Is this snap chat NO!!! then why do I see girl after freaking girl posing with their toungues out. They are the worst on tinder profiles…. Sorry love you are not a rabbit…. more like a rat. ok a bit harsh, but you get the point. 

Well those are my rants, hope you enjoyed them, I think this tinder app is taking years off my life, bloody stressful lol. Now time to plan for a date that I will be live tweeting and streaming for the first time this year! Follow along tonight on my twitter this Thursday, it’s going to be fun! Peace ✌️

The Girls Of Tinder 

Well while I’m sitting here listening to a great song called ‘Swipe Her’ – by yours truly. I’m swiping through tinder and noticing more and more different types of girls that can be rounded up into different categories. So if you’re a noob to Tinder or just wanna get the 4-1-1 on what to expect, have a read of this blog that I just wrote called ‘The Girls Of Tinder’.
Now, the first type of girl and normally my favourite is Fun Girl. Fun Girl will make it crystal clear that she is here for a good time not a long time. She will either drop some big hints like; ‘Wanna hang tonight?’ (aka Netflix and chill aka hide the sausage). Either that or she will actually write “here for a good time not a long time” on her profile! Super like her if thats what you’re wanting.

Next girl is Bong Girl. Bong Girl is looking for weed, obviously, now she may say she is looking for someone to smoke her weed with but what she is really saying is “Hey, I don’t have any weed but i’ll come meet you and smoke all of yours and grace you with my company.”

Next is Fuck Knows What I Want Girl. Now Fuck Knows What I Want Girl doesn’t fucking know what she wants and she will MESSAGE YOU ALL FUCKING NIGHT and you still won’t know what she fucking wants. If it says this on her profile SWIPE LEFT unless you wanna talk about how her day is, how the fucking weather is, what she had for tea, how she wipes her bum. Swipe left please. 

Looking For Friends Girl is next…….. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING FOR FRIENDS ON TINDER! Swipe Left for fuck sakes.

Dinner Girl is next, she may disguise herself as fun girl but she’s not! I had a Dinner Girl last week: brought her the first drink thinking I was hanging with Fun Girl then fucking Boom!! Fun Girl asks if we should get a menu, my Tinder senses started tingling and fucking Bam! She orders food and ol mully has to pay as she has no money. DINNER GIRL. 

Lastly is Relationship Girl, like a Dinner Girl but one big difference… she offers to split the bill if you go out on a date. Obviously you’re going to pick up the bill on the first date but just her offering changes her from Dinner Girl to Relationship Girl. Also Relationship Girl goes home on first date if she doesn’t, mate you gotta Fun Girl! 

Well thats it, of course there are more types like Sally Barry Girl when the girl is actually a fucking dude but hey lets hope you don’t come across one of them!

The Good The Bad The Shags

Well I have already completed my New Years resolution of 2017 and we are only 10 days into the New Year. It was to see how long I could stay celibate for in 2017. Well I got the answer to that…56 bloody minutes into the new year! 
If you haven’t been reading my twitter I went to the biggest music festival New Zealand puts on all year: Rhythm & Vines for New Years. From where I live in Tauranga its a bit of a drive to get to the festival. Four hours of winding scenic roads. I took off at 10am on the 31st with one of my girl mates, she didn’t wanna pay for petrol so she offered to pay in other ways on the way down 😉 hitchhikers special is what I like to call it. 

We arrived there at around 3 and saw that to get in the car park to R&V they search your car for alcohol and confiscate it. Fuckers! I do a uturn and park almost directly across the road and down as many bloody shots as I can. “Any alcohol in your car guys?” one of the security guards says. “not anymore” I reply with a large smirk coming across my face. 

We park up and begin chatting to a van of German girls parked next to us, they happily share their straight vodka they had sneaked in (in their McDonalds cups). One of them is completely stunning, I gravitate to her and begin flirting with her, she is pretty lite and lets me know she has been drinking since lunchtime. Her friends wanna go back into the festival, she says she will catch up. My girl mate knows what I’m up to and heads to the portaloo. I jump into the German van and begin to hook up with this hot German. Now I wish i could say more happen than kisses but she told me it was that time of month, which was fine with me, I was just stoked I had hooked up with someone without even stepping a foot into the festival!

After about half a dozen security checks (which included a full body pat down) I started to make my way into the festival. As I walked past the dehydration station tents I was immediately grabbed roughly by two security guards “STOP RIGHT NOW!” the big one boomed at me grabbing my arms tightly. The other one radioed to another one of his guards “can you confirm the tattoo on his neck is a butterfly” he asked. “whats going on? I just got here” I said to them but they weren’t listening. After what felt like an eternity they got a reply from the guard that I wasn’t the guy they were looking for. I was free to go with not even an apology, fucking rude bastards! 

After that small hiccup it was time to get some beers in me and enjoy the show! Now if you’re thinking of going to R&V in the future the best place I found to pick up girls is the line waiting to get drinks. Now this fucking line was so bloody long, it gave you a good chance to chat to the people behind or in front of you. 

It wasn’t long before I hooked up with someone, then another then another. This is fucking paradise I thought! As I was waiting to go for a wee a girl came out of the portaloo and flashed her tits at me laughing and throwing her bra at me. “R&V fuck yea wahoooo” she screams, obviously on pingers or something. 

3, 2, 1 happy new year!!! me and the girl I came down with neck on with each other, shes a bloody amazing kisser, as the fireworks began to go off one big firework nearly went off in my bloody pants as I got a very happy New Year hand job. We split up again and went to look for girls and guys to dance with. 

Now as I said before the best place to meet chicks and potentially hook up with them I found was the drinks line…well I also found the fucking worst place in the worst way. After breaking the seal I had to go for another wee pretty soon after the first. As I waited and waited for whoever was in this certain portaloo to finish it never crossed my mind that whoever was in there might be throwing their guts up. 

So this stunning girl opens the door and pulls me inside. You are so fucking sexy she slurs at me. We start having sex in this fucking portaloo, shes on top of me jumping up and down. She then goes to kiss me and she tastes like fucking vomit, what the fucking fuck I thought immediately pulling away from her hot breath stinky mouth. We finish up and I fucking get out of there was fast as I can, gurgling my beer around my mouth to get the taste of spew out, yuck. 

I meet my girl I came down here with back at my car at around 5am and we watch the first sunrise of 2017 in style… doggy style. HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEARS!

Painter Date Recap

Well, well, well, first date back from a brief hiatus and fuck me, it doesn’t go smoothly. Now I wish I could just tweet my date out and have it end with me banging the chick, but this isn’t a fairy tale where we bang happily ever after. No, no, no this shit is real life where anything can happen and did.

After sub-contracting all week to another painting crew I got talking to one of the boys from the other painting crew. He told me about this chick that his boss had employed and given a painting apprenticeship almost straight away. Apparently there was a lot of animosity towards her from all of the other painters as they had to prove themselves for over a year before they got offered an apprenticeship. Not thinking too much into like hmmm her boss might have the hot’s for her, I got her number and began texting her.

She seemed pretty cool over text and apparently had seen me on building sites in the past. I asked her out for a drink on Thursday night and she accepted… The #PainterDate was born. Let us recap…..

Before meeting up with her I tried this new Cider that had just come out and holy shit it was so good, best thing I had tasted since I had gone down on that Canadian girl back in February and that shit tasted like fucking peaches.  We meet up down at her local pub in a suburb in Tauranga called Bureta. She glammed herself up pretty good but I still could see bits of paint under her nails. She had good banter and even ordered a bloody jug of beer for herself.

We started getting jolly and opening up after a couple of jugs of beer. We started talking about sex and she admitted to being so horny on a job she used her paint brush as a dildo, holy fuck! And here was me thinking I was a weirdo for fucking my paint roller sleeve!

I got back from a pee and noticed a concerned look on her face as she was furiously texting someone. It was her boss, she hadn’t finished sanding the room she was on or some shit like that and he wasn’t happy! He kept trying to ring her and eventually resorted to texting her, not being one to let a cock ruin my night I brought us shots and soldiered on.

Before long her fucking boss turned up and started having a full blown argument. He pointed towards me saying “who’s this guy?? Aren’t you supposed to be with Andy?!” Who the fucks Andy I thought. “Fuck Andy, he’s boring” She replied “We broke up on Sunday” Her boss changed his tune as soon as he clicked she was single and the 50 something year old turned on his McSleeze. He stopped arguing, got us all a round and added himself to our fucking date, what the fucking fuck!!!

This fucker started to her all touchy, touchy with her and instead of shrugging it off this tart is fucking loving it. I snap a couple of pictures for twitter, knock back a beer he paid for and bid them a good night by saying “well enjoying having his wrinkly balls hitting your arse tonight.” I walk out of the bar to her yelling at me “fucking prick” and her boss saying “come back and say it to my face” Pfft whatever mate.

 

From Crab Tree to Vag Pee

As I sit in this empty diner on my way back from Napier with no reception on my phone I can’t help but laugh at what happened down in Napier. It was my mates 30th and me and his mate have decided to go down there for the weekend.

Now from a shagging aspect this past weekend was shite, the only action I got was from Mrs Palmer and even she was pretty unenthused. It wasn’t as if it was from lack of trying, I was tindering a tonne of girls but everyone either had plans elsewhere or it was that time of the month.

My lucky mate Darren who had flown down from Auckland, found a hottie who was keen to meet up with him at the Sons of Zion concert. So that was us off to the Sons of Zion concert at a vineyard called The Crabtree. Now I don’t usually like New Zealand bands but these guys kicked arse, what made them sound even better was probably the thick cloud of weed smoke that encompassed the crowd. Darren eventually found his chick whom had a couple of mates with her.

Darren and me decided to go back to their place which was situated on the notorious Napier Hills (see one of my first blogs to see why they are so notorious  https://tattooedmulligan.com/2014/08/26/meeting-mountain-women/) Tim wanted to get back to his Mrs so we shared a taxi with him, got off at the Napier hills and he carried onto Tamatea where he lives.

Once we got there we carried on drinking until I comatosed out on the sofa with her dog. Darren and the three girls carried on drinking until two of them went home and him and his girl went to bed. Darren and the girl started getting down and dirty sharing oral with each other, trading a blow job for a finger blast, then Darren thought ‘Fuck it, I’m going to go down on her’ which in my eyes is a cardinal sin to eat out a one night stand, but hey, everyone’s different.

So he starts going to town eating this girl as if she was a 2am bloody kebab, she begins to get wetter and wetter and louder and louder. All of a sudden she lets out a huge moan and boom she cums/pees right down his throat. I awake from my coma to the sound of Darren yakking his guts up, I wander into the toilet and see him fast down in the bowl, “you alright D man?” I ask, no reply, I then wander into her room and I can smell urine. “What happened to Darren?” I ask the girl. “I was cumming” she said in a sad voice “but my bladder was full and I ended up peeing.” EWW WHAT THE FUCK!?!?

Well Darren and me ended up getting the hell out of there and back to Tim’s as fast as we could. In the morning we broke the news to Tim and his partner while they were eating breakfast, Tim choked on a mouthful of coffee…which was more tasty than what poor Darren choked on the night before!!