What You look for in Partner: Boys vs. Girls

For the last week I have been doing a bit of deep thinking as to what I want in the future. This usually always happens around this time, with the weather getting colder I start wanting a girlfriend to cuddle. Luckily I usually snap myself out of this self-loathing shit and remind myself the grass isn’t greener on the relationship side.
But every year on I get a little bit older and my belt gets another hundred or so notches added to it. This year though I got to thinking of what I actually want in a relationship and to be completely honest I have no idea. You would think after enjoying the company of hundreds of girls I would have an idea of what I want but I don’t.

Now let’s delve into what a girl wants in a guy. After sleeping and then asking 100 girls, below is the top 4 things a girl wants in a relationship

1.Trust – usually at the top of the list, nobody likes a cheat!

2.Looks – this is on every girl’s list. Usually it’s secretly on there as when a girl is quizzed by someone they will deny it but I call utter bullshit on that!

3.Sense of humour – or lack of. I have met some girls who hate a sense of humour and want their relationship to be like a fucking business. Fuck those girls.

4.Family – A guy that gets on well with her family is high on a girl’s list as is starting a family with the lad.
Now looking into what I want and chatting to my mates from rugby, what they want in a relationship it kinda differs. It makes us males look like complete fuckers, but hey you have to be happy in your relationship.

1.Looks – Rated number one! Shallow fuckers much, all of us admitted that if a girl ever asked us what we looked for in a relationship we would NEVER admit to this but yes this tops the list sadly. This is probably a good reason as to why a number of relationships don’t work, as we base far too much on looks and end up with a crazy bitch.

2.Good at sex – Number fucking two on my list, does this make me shallow? A horndog? A fuck boy? Probably yes. But if you aren’t having healthy sex in your relationship then that isn’t a bloody relationship I want to be a part of.

3. Not a psycho – Not texting every fucking two minute, letting you go out with mates. I would write a whole blog on how not to be a psycho but you get the point.

4. Sociable – Having friends and going out so us males don’t feel bad if we are on a 3-day bender and ya partner is home the whole time watching 13 fucking reasons why. Basically not being a home body.

Well that’s the lists and almost completely different thinking between females and males, it’s crazy how we co-exist together. If you are getting into a relationship sooner or later just remember this blog and how the other person thinks, it could bloody shock you!

Getting my Asian Wings

For us guys there are different types of achievements called getting your wings, as it pertains to having sex an different acts, I will rattle off a few I can think of.

  • Brown Wings  – Anal Sex
  • V wings – Sleeping with a chick that’s a virgin
  • Red Wings – Sex while a girl is on her period
  • Vintage wins – When the chick is 20 years older
  • Flight Commander Wings – having a threesome
  • Squadron Commander Wings – 4 or more people involved in sex
  • Blue or Water wings – Sex in water
  • Asian wings – having sex with someone from an Asian Country

Two years ago I embarked on my mission to get my Asian Wings, looking back on it now I should have just gone to Auckland and got a cheap Asian prostitute but I guess hind sight is a marvellous thing!

Me and the boys decided to head out one night and instead of going to our normal drinking hole I convinced them to go to the CBD club as I knew there was a large contingent of Asians at this club. As we headed in I noticed a couple of potential girls on the dance floor. I approached them using the standard “How’s your night going?” opener. This always worked well for me. They responded with the typical “good thanks”. I chatted a bit with them, asking them how they like the place, etc. You might say I was having a typical nice-guy conversation. After a few minutes I left them so as not to be a weirdo and went back to my mates and chilled for a bit. I returned to them once more a while later and they were just about ready to leave. I decided hit on the taller one, the more attractive of the two girls. She was a pretty and petite asian girl. I got her name and number and wrote it on a piece of paper. Her name was Shino. I started texting her as soon as she left. She was much better at texting in English then she was at speaking it. She told me that we should meet up sometime. I asked her what was wrong with meeting tonight. It was still early, she agreed an texted me her address. She lived at the dorms at the Waikato University so she told me to text her when I was down stairs so she could let me in.

It was about 11.30pm by the time I got there, I texted her an she came down. We cuddled on her couch for a while. I proceeded to get her hot and bothered on the couch with my spirit fingers. I figured there was a possibility it could go all the way and the signs were looking good so far. I continued getting her worked up, rubbing her all over and kissing her neck. I got her bra off, thinking I was in with a grin. All of a sudden she said, “Please, no more clothes off”. I stopped there, sensing that I had gotten as far as I could. It was getting late, feeling defeated I decided to leave.

About a week later we set up another meet. This time she came over to my place. We watched a movie and snuggled on the couch. Afterwards we made out and got semi-naked. She said something about it being ok now. She took her panties off. I put on a condom and we had sex. It was a little awkward at first but it got better as I got more familiar with her body. I get asked if Asians are tight by my mates, and yes I can confirm she was extremely tight. The worst thing about having sex with her was she screamed as if I was murdering her! Seriously I had to always stop and ask her if she was ok. I would always get the reply “so good yes yes”. We met a few more times and the sex got pretty good. She was okay with it being a fling. She kept it a secret from her family, saying at one point “If my mother or father found out they would kill me!” As the school term ended so did our time together, as expected. I was a bit sad to see her go. I got the impression I could have easily become her boyfriend if I wanted. But it wasn’t my thing being the Casanova of Hamilton and all 😛 or the wannabe anyway.

 

Ways to talk to girls

Well its Friday evening here in New Zealand and before I pick up a beer and pretend to care what my mates are talking about,  I thought I would share a few techniques on how I have gone about picking up a girl. I have compiled a list of some ideas that I have put into play that have actually worked for me and hey, if they work for you guys great! I guess if any girls are reading this, this could be a list of what to look out for when a seedy guy with tattoo’s approaches you ;P

  • If the clubs really loud and you’re only looking for a hook up try a fake accent.

Wear something from the country whose accent you’re trying to pull off or if you’re lucky like me point to a tattoo of an Irish shamrock, and say you’re from Ireland!                                                   

  • Pretend you’re a fireman.

Going out in a volunteer fireman’s shirt helps. Girls LOVE a guy in uniform.

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  • Make Tattoo Business cards.                                                                                                                                      

Make sure it’s in another region of New Zealand or where ever you are from. Hand them out to girls in the club; make sure it has your number on it. This is probably one of the best ways to get talking to a girl in a bar or a club – as long as you can spin a good story.

  • Shout a group of girls drinks all night.

I really don’t recommend this at all unless its $2 shots night then and only then splash out.59295_4701364103950_398422477_n

  • Go on a club tour in the city you are in.

Auckland has a fantastic one called ‘The Big Night Out’.  It’s targeted at tourists but anyone can go. For $25 they take you to all the best clubs as a group stopping at each one for a shot or a drink.

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So there are a few things I have done or gone too that helped me mingle with girls. Truthfully just being confident and honest is the best bet for anyone. Unless you want to get a credit card and just buy them shit because we all know a way to a girls heart is a long road filled with jewellery!