Black Eyed Shagga 

After playing a brutal rugby tournament last Saturday which included yours truly scoring a great try, the sweet sound of beer bottles cracking open was music to my ears. After sinking at least half a dozen in the changing rooms I jumped in a mini van full of us boys and headed off to a house to continue drinking. 

Everything was going great, all us guys analysing the game we had just played, each of us trying to put our two cents in on how if we had played differently we could have won the whole tournament. Suddenly I remembered that none of them had seen my tattoo I have recently gotten of my one millionth Twitter follower which turned out to be @BieberFeverrr16, obviously a Justin Bieber fan. Well me being me and not thinking twice I begin to parade my new tattoo off to everyone. One thing that fucks me off is when your in a group of people, there is always a couple of them that ignore you when your talking or showing something, it grates on my nerves. So thinking one of the boys was deliberately ignoring me (which he bloody was!) I thrust my arm in his face “seen my new tattoo mate” and the next thing I know I’m waking up on the ground with an extremely sore face. The wanker had punched me in the face and knocked me out, I look up from the ground feeling pretty dazed and confused to a couple of the boys pushing him back and asking why he did that for. I remember him saying “I fucking hate Justin Bieber, thats the stupidest thing I have ever seen, and he put it right in my face”. I get up holding my face “what the fuck bro?” I say to him. He glanced over at me realising what he had done and suddenly became really apologetic. We managed to hug it out just before the taxi to town got there. 

With a puffed up cheek I was pretty reluctant to go to town but I thought buggar it i’ll go. Now this might be hard to believe but I got more attention from girls than ever before! “aww your poor face” “are you ok” “what happened!?” are just a few comments from girls I got at the club. Who would of thought getting whacked in the head would be such a great opener to talk to girls! Well I ended up turning a negative of getting punched in the face into a  positive by scoring a pretty nice looking chick. I shagged in her the night club toilets as she didn’t wanna ditch her friends. Funny how she said “I can’t hear you over this music, lets go in here and talk”. I can tell you right now that there wasn’t any fucking talking that took place, because when the door shut she whipped down my pants faster then I could string the sentence “what do you wanna talk about” together. 

Well thats it from this black eyed shagga, thanks so much for reading and remember when something appears to be bad it can always turn itself into some good 😊

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