Sleeping With A Follower

“Hey thanks for the follow Tattooed Mulligan x” this was the first private message I got from one crazy crazy follower I have on twitter. It all started about a week ago, after tweeting out a funny joke I thought I would follow a few people who had favourited or retweeted the joke. Almost immediately up pops a message from a pretty attractive girl I had just followed. We did the back and forth chatting and favoriting each others posts, you know just the usual odd shit you do in this day and age to seduce someone.
We continued this for the next few days chatting and even exchanging naked selfies. After rugby training last wednesday I checked my Twitter and I had a message from her “Boo, I’m heading up from Wellington to see you xo” Sweet! Time to get back in the game I thought. After a few beers with the rugby boys at the local bar I texted her my address (bad idea) and headed home. I remembered on the way of my last hook up which turned out to be a guy posing as a girl, I really hope this one is legit. I got to my place, jumped in the shower and within moments of hoping out I heard a knock at the door, the moment of truth had arrived!
I opened the door and to my surprise she looked exactly like she was meant to! I invited her in, exchanged pleasantries, had a few drinks and then she asked “Can we have sex now?” You don’t have to asked me twice! The sex was pretty good nothing to write home about, or blog about. Afterwards we both fell asleep or so I thought, I woke up to the most fucking loud snoring, “I’m sleeping with a fucking frieght train” I thought. I jumped on my Twitter and I was shocked to see she had posted photos of herself with an asleep me to her followers (luckily she only has 200 but still). The posts read something like “sleeping with blogger Tattooed Mulligan #love” What the hell, I quietly grabbed her phone trying not to wake the freight train. Yes! No password protection, I went onto her camera roll and what I saw creeped me out, this weirdo had taken selfies with my Tattooed penis!! What the fuck! I immediately deleted them all, deleted her twitter post, woke her up and verbally threw her out of my house. Through all the commotion of kicking her out she couldn’t understand what she did wrong, laughing it off as if it wasn’t a big deal to which I replied “Maybe take a photo when i’m actually conscious would be a start” With that I slammed the door on her and went back to bed.phonecall
Since then I have blocked her on Twitter but have I have still had hundreds of texts and phone calls. Today after coming back from a run I had 13 bloody missed calls. Why aren’t there any normal girls out there???

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