The Checklist

Ever been to the races, bet on a horse, and won?! The surprise and thrill of the win is a great feeling, just like when you sleep with a girl and she is shaven. Bringing a girl home is a lottery in itself with over half a dozen questions always going through my mind. Below is the list I try to check off before bedding a chick.

  • Is she on her period?
  • Does she stink down there?
  • Will she make me do oral?
  • Will she give me oral?
  • Is she a weirdo? (See some of my other blogs and you will understand why )
  • Does she shave?
  • Is she a man?

Ok the last one is usually easily confirmed by a quick Adams apple check in the night club! So after getting the girl back to my place the list begins to run through my head, drunk or not the list has become cemented into my mind. I can usually complete the list quite easily. Firstly making up a random conversation to do with tampons or something along those lines, then quickly asking “oh is it that time of month now” which is usually, and hopefully, answered with a “what the fuck, no haha”. One question down… unless she wears pads, then ya fucked! Slippery finger time, while it’s getting hot and heavy I have the remaining questions pondering in my mind. Slipping the finger down there, giving her a quick tickle for about a good minute (not to make it too obvious) then bringing it back to my nose and giving it a quick sniff checks of the remaining questions: Does it stink down there? If it does there is defiantly no oral for her and that means probably none for me. It checks the golden box of if she shaves or not and hey, if I’m really wasted it would check the last question of if she is actually a man. Hamilton can sometimes be a hard place to tell Adam from an Eve at the best of times, and Eve can easily turn into a Steve by the end of the night.

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