Random Rambles in a Drunken State

I wrote this blog in a drunken state after town this past Saturday, I thought it was pretty funny as it doesn’t make a lot of sense. I was reluctant to post it but I have decided to. Enjoy 😛

It’s just after 4am, I have all I can taste is the sourness of the bourbon I downed an hour or so ago at some club that I have forgotten the name of. I didn’t come on the computer to write anything, I’m unsure why I am still typing yet I continue. Whilst typing I’m trying to find a good porn site. Dam these pop ups are annoying. Couple of funny things happened in town tonight, I chatted to a girl in one club she said “When i go to a club I’m there to dance. I’m not there to find a boyfriend or take a guy home.” As I jumped in a taxi with my mates to head home, i saw the same girl kissing a guy while getting into a taxi. Girls these days, don’t even know what they are on about lol classic. I walked up to this girl tonight and said “you must be the best looking girl in this place!” With a gleaming smile she asked what makes me say that. “12 bottles of Corona, 3 sambuca shots and 2 tequila shots”. She did the big F-off dickhead. I thought it was a great way to break the ice, sheesh talk about being up tight. I can hear my mate having sex in the bedroom next to me. He picked up a girl tonight; he is such a smooth lad when he is drunk. He went up to this girl tonight and said “Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?” the most cheesiest shit I have ever heard, yet it worked for him. He asked me beforehand if I had any good pickup lines. I rattled off these ones to him

  • Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.
  • I’m no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
  • Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.
  • I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.
  • Are you from Iraq? ‘Cause I like the way you Baghdad ass up.

Surprisingly he didn’t go for any of mine! Although I guess his worked out fine from all the noise I can hear. Dam I miss Hamilton’s late night Kebab shops, nothing beats a nice greasy Kebab after a night of boozing. Had to settle for Burger King tonight, the taxi driver took us through the drive thru. I was awkwardly sitting next my mate and his girl while they hooked up in between bites of their burgers. Once we got home the kissing didn’t stop. We all got into the spa and it wasn’t long before they were at it again. Me and my other mate got out an left them to it. I’m going to sleep now this porn site is taking ages to load plus I can’t find any good midget porn hahahaha joking!

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